La Mission

La Mission is an interesting indy film about an old school cholo father living in the Mission district of SanFrancisco with his teenage son. Not to get all spoilerific on you or anything but his son is homosexual and in a relationship with someone, and is hiding it from his very macho father. The father is played by one of the most delicious actors in the world Benjamin Bratt. They live in a giant victorian house that has been turned into apartments. Their neighbor is a lady Lena played by Erica 'Maxine from Living Single' Alexander. She is an organic, natural haired, bicycle riding earth mama that is trying her best to fit into the predominantly Latin neighborhood.

Benjamin's character Che is an ex con who now drives a bus and works on lowriders in his free time. He belongs to an old school car club that goes crusing to the oldies every Friday night. They meet up with other car clubs under the bridge and chill and listen to music and dance. It's a pretty mello life he lives, until he finds evidence of his son's relationship and confronts him about it. Naturally he cannot cope and father and son are on the outs. Lena gets caught in the middle of the mele' and is a catalyst for Che's understanding of his son. The change takes a long time to happen. Lena and Che begin something very sweet and refreshing to see on screen. I liked that he was genuinely attracted to her though she was nothing like him. There was a sweetness between them that was wonderful to see. Lena holds a mirror to Che to force him to look at himself, and doesn't allow him to bullshit his way out of things. This film has some complex issues that aren't sugar coated or swept under the table. The script does a great job of getting everything out, and showing Che's transformation into an unconditionally loving father. Great film making. More please.

Knight & Day

Knight & Day is one of those big budget action movies with big name stars that you pretty much go into having the entire thing mapped out in your head before your booty even hits the seat and the first kernel of popcorn is ingested. However this film surpassed any preconceived ideas that I had about it’s entertainment value. Tom plays Roy Miller, a Cheshire grinning super shady ‘agent like’ character that keeps accidentally bumping into June, (played by Cameron Diaz) in the airport. Well we all know when that goes down there’s some sort of exchange taking place, it’s just a question of what that we wait around for. June gets bumped from her flight and Roy comments as he gets on the plane ‘Some things happen for a reason.’ June eventually gets on the plane and seats herself in Roy’s vicinity to get her flirt on. When she gets up to go to the bathroom is when all hell breaks loose. She comes back, and Roy tries to clue her in on the mêlée that has happened whilst she was in dispose, and she believes he’s only kidding with her, until she sees that no one is flying the plane. The action takes off like a shot. Our couple manages to not die in a fiery plane crash, while they are escaping the wreck in a corn field, Roy explains to June that the bad guys are coming after her and this is what they will say. Don’t trust them no matter what, oh and drink this to take the edge off. She does and it’s lights out for her. She wakes up in her own bed in her own house…somehow.

The next day her sort of boyfriend, seeing on TV that the plane she was on crashed was worried and came by to see if she ever made it home. They go out for breakfast and she tries to explain Roy to him, when Roy shows up at the diner to kidnap her; and off we go again. This time on a wild car chase on the highway with the bad guys with some of the craziest stunts ever. They kept it fresh somehow with the silliness of the situations, and June’s panicking about the situation like a normal person would given the circumstances. She’s just priceless. You can see her getting a little crushy crush on Roy boy, and you wonder when it’s all going to come to a head. Little by little Roy feeds her information on a need to know basis, however when he isn’t around; the bad guys are grabbing June up and telling her the opposite so she doesn’t know who to believe. The film does a good job with not overwhelming you with information right away, and keeping you in the dark along with our girl June. You think you are putting the pieces together and you know who the bad guys are; then you aren’t quite right. This movie has delightful twists, and fantastic heart pulsing action. Cruise plays Roy’s ‘rogue’ just right, so you feel for the guy and wonder how he’s going to get out of this alive.

Yes, the film does have all the core elements, things blowing up, car chases, cool gadgets, lots of bad guys, exotic locales and punch lines; but it’s so fast and furious that you are caught up in the fun before you realize you are watching a formula. But this formula works like a charm.

What if you could know the exact moment that you would meet ‘the one’? Timer is a futuristic look at the possibility. It’s a step further than internet dating, where you can have a timer implanted into your wrist that will count down to the moment that you will meet your mate. The thing that makes this concept interesting is that there are so many variables to this seemingly foolproof plan. When you get the implant it won’t tell you immediately in some cases; and you could be waiting years for the dern thing to get to counting down. This is what happens to our heroine Oona. She and her sister Steff both have the implant, and are the last of all their friends not to have it countdown. The timer is something that is voluntary so not everyone has one, and there in lies the rub. If your intended doesn’t have one, then yours will never count down. Oona is anxious about her future as she is turning 30 and still hasn’t found the one. Steff on the other hand is perfectly happy having lots of one night stands with un-timered men in the meantime. The girls have a little brother, whom on his 14th birthday decided he wanted to get timered. The moment his timer is installed, it counts down to the next day! Oona comes completely unglued that her baby brother is about to find his ‘one.’ Much to their families chagrin his one is the daughter of the families Spanish speaking housekeeper.


One night while grocery shopping, a much younger timered checker named Mikey flirts with Oona. She blows him off, but then returns on a whim to begin dating him. She asks when he is supposed to meet his one, and he tells her 4 months or so. So Oona knows that her time with Mikey is limited and struggles with continuing to see him almost every other day. Steff meets a handsome guy on her own, whom is also untimered and begins to fall for him as well. The sisters go to great lengths to hide each of their perspective relationships from the other; until one night when Oona and Mikey crash at Oonas and Steff comes home early. The sisters begin to argue about his impending date to be with his one, and to stop the fighting he reveals that his timer is a fake. With this revelation, more questions arise and more variables. Oona seems to panic, and back out of the relationship though she knows that how she feels about Mikey is the absolute truth. But he isn’t the one, is he? She tries to convince him to get a timer to find out for sure, and he refuses. So does she move on and continue to wait for her timer to go off? Or does she stay with someone; though 6 years younger than she because he makes her happy? The story raises many interesting questions about falling in love and destiny. Very thought provoking, expertly written.

Teeth

When I dialed up Teeth I was sure I’d be getting into some low budget feminist blood fest or something. However I was pleasantly surprised with it’s thoughtfulness and clear story telling. If you haven’t heard, Teeth is a film about a woman who has teeth in her vagina. The tag line of the film says ‘The most alarming cautionary tale for men since fatal attraction.’ which leads you to believe my first impression of what the film would be like. Let me break it down for you. Our heroine is Dawn, a teenage purity priestess, who goes from school to school with a band of Christian soldiers preaching purity to teens and encouraging them to wear purity rings. Completely unexpected, but ok let’s see where this goes. She’s a perfectly happy teen until she meets a new student Toby, whom she is instantly attracted to. Dawn and Toby become friends and go on group dates so they can spend time together. They always make sure that they are with other people so nothing inappropriate happens between them. Dawn begins to have erotic dreams about Toby, and the feeling is mutual. This becomes too much for our girl Dawn and she decides that seeing him even in a group setting is too much for her vows. However, nature takes over and she breaks down one night and calls him to meet her in the woods for a swim. Naturally you know they’re about to be up to no good. They swim, and it begins to rain; so they go to a nearby ‘make out’ cave to wait out the rain. There is a blanket stored there for whomever happens by and they cuddle and kiss, however Toby wants to take it farther. Dawn says no, but Toby is ready for action. Dawn fights and screams and Toby overpowers her to get what he wants. Big mistake on his part as the teeth take over and rescue our girl Dawn from her fate, leaving Toby a bloody screaming mess. He tries to swim away but looses too much blood and is lost in the river.

Dawn of course is freaked out by not only the attack but the disappearance of Toby and tries her best to go on with business as usual. Back at home Dawn has a whole other set of problems. When she was little her father remarried a woman who had a son Brad. This kid is a deeply disturbed heavy metal loving misogynist who lives to torment everyone he comes in contact with. The most fascinating fact about Brad is that when he has sex with a woman, it’s never vaginally. Curious why? Terrible Toby’s memberless body is discovered and investigations ensue. Dawn tries to find out what is wrong with her by doing research on her ‘condition’. Unfortunately she can only find women like herself in mythology. She decides to see a gynecologist to confirm her fears. When in the stirrups being probed she becomes tense and ends up ‘chewing’ off all the doctors digits accidentally. In a freaked out frenzy she runs into the arms of her sometimes stalker Ryan for comfort, only to be seduced by him. However she kind of likes the guy so she willingly has sex with him and nothing awful happens to his junk. To me this makes the whole movie stick. If she’s participating willingly the teeth don’t bite down. However things take a turn when the next day while they are having sex he answers the phone to talk to a homie. He then tells her while mid stroke that he had a bet with the homie that he could get her into bed. Guess what happens next? Crazy, thrilling, sick, and cool.

Planet Brooklyn

The cover of Planet Brooklyn puts me off, and had for a while as it looked like one of those ‘How to be a Player’ sort of black movies that make you wonder why you wasted the last hour and a half of your life on that crap. However I decided to take the plunge anyway and I am so glad that I did. This film centers around two best friends in their late 20’s, Ish and Oz, who have dedicated their lives to circumventing the system by any means necessary. They do not want to be part of the 9 to 5 grind in any way shape or form. (I mean who does?) Ish is played by real life Ishmael Butler better known as ‘Butterfly’ of the now defunct Digable Planets and current member of the mashup outfit ‘Cherry Wine’ (and one of the finest brothers in existence..but I digress) and hip hop fixture Bonz Mallone as Oz. Oz happened to inherit a nice Brooklyn apartment from his grandmother’s passing; so he and Ish pretty much squat there making ends meet by Ish giving haircuts in the living room and Oz gambling. They both speak obsessively about a band that they are supposed to be assembling, and have been since junior high. When they aren’t at the house they are at the local record shop putting records on lay away and blowing on about their band with the shops owner Smokey. The two are constantly trailed by Junie, a dude who is enthusiastic about music too, but always seems to have outlandish claims about who he knows and how talented he is. Ish and Oz let him hang but don’t take him too seriously. Ish seems to be from a great middle class home, that he sneaks in and out of to get records and groceries. He and his father aren’t on good terms because Ish chose his own path. One day when Ish is walking home he sees a gorgeous lady bombing a wall, and falls for her instantly. Her name is Veronica, and she’s a multi talented artists as well as the woman of his dreams. They fall for eachother, each encouraging the other to follow their dreams. However each has their own demons to deal with when it comes to making something real happen instead of doing it as a hobby or just talking about it everyday.


One day when they two are out a bird takes a dump on Oz’ head, and he takes it as a sign of good luck and begins gambling all over town and wins. He then goes to Atlantic city to ride his streak and wins even more. Oz feels unstoppable. One day he calls the local bookie, Wolfie to place a bet for $3,000 and loses. He decides to get out of town for a while till things blow over. The next thing you know the three of them are piled in an old Cadillac to go camping for a few days. When they return, things haven’t blown over and Wolfie wants his payment. When Oz tells him he can’t pay, Wolfie comes up with shotgun alternative. Back at the apartment Veronica and Ish are chilling and Veronica pops in a cassette tape that was lying around, and it’s hot. Turns out Junie wasn’t lying about his talent afterall, and Ish goes to find him to finally start his band. This film definitely speaks to that part of us that never wants to compromise for the sake of growing up. Well written, and emotionally honest.

America the Beautiful

America the Beautiful is a documentary that magnifies the obsession with unattainable beauty and perfection that runs rampant in this country. The film opens shooting a tall willowy black model named Gerrin; whom has a giant forest of natural hair walking at a swimsuit show. The model after the show goes swimming with other models who are drinking and some are nude. Little do we know at first that this model is 12 years old and still in middle school. Gerrin is a wonderkind in the industry at 12, and rumored to be positioned to blow Naomi off the runway. Her walk is sexy and fierce, and she has lots of personality. Gerrin lives in California with her mother Michelle, and ex amateur model. Michelle wants Gerrin to excel in the industry so the following year, she takes her to New York for fashion week. She is seen and booked right away, and ends up landing shows for Marc Jacobs, B Michael, Tommy Hilfiger and others right away. As quickly as she is celebrated, the door is slammed on her a few months later because her mother has become quite pushy. No designer will book her now, and no agency will take her on in New York. The two pack up and head for Europe, first stop London. Gerrin books three shows, and two pay her in clothes. Gerrin and Michelle want to go to Paris next, but are warned that her 6 foot 120 frame will be too big to work there. They go anyway, and she is measured. Sure enough her hips are too big at 96cm. The largest you can be is 90cm. What is the reason for this small number? Designers don’t want to pay for extra yardage for fabric, so make the girls anorexic. Not only isn’t she ‘thin’ enough, but black isn’t popular in France for models anyway. When Gerrin gets home she’s going on and on about how she’s ‘obese.’ Not because she thinks so, evidently someone in Europe told her that she was obese. Gerrin seems quite ticked off by this, and goes over her body part by part showing that there is no way that she can be obese. She goes on to say ‘I hope I’m this obese when I’m 40.’ Never the less Gerrin goes on a diet to get smaller, and then complains about her ‘stretch marks’ and how she can’t wear a bikini ever again. The camera had to be right on her skin to see what she was talking about. The film covers about three years in her life and at the end of the film she is very withdrawn and adamant that she is ugly. “Period” as she puts it.

The film also visits, different cultures, and their views of beauty. Plastic surgery, the cosmetic industry, a site called beautiful people dot net, that decides if you’re beautiful enough to join based on your looks. The film also addresses the eating disorders that women get because of the impossible beauty standard, and how insurance will not cover treatment of these diseases, and how this must be changed. This film has many fascinating aspects that definitely get you wondering. Is it all worth it in the end?

Bart Got A Room

Bart Got A Room is the story of a semi- nerdy kid named Danny, who live in Miami with his newly divorced mom. It’s his senior year in high school and Danny is obsessed with getting ‘the right girl’ for the prom to take the perfect picture with and have the perfect memory of. So what’s up with Bart you ask? Bart happens to be the nerdiest kid in the senior class. The sentiment is that if Bart got a room, and you didn’t you then take is place as class loser. His best friend is a quirky freckle faced girl named Camille, who really wants to go to prom with Danny. Camille makes her desire known in a graduation card, and also tells her family that she wants to go with him. He tells her he wants to take someone else. Danny has his eyes on the perky blond tease of a cheerleader Alice, that he car pools to and from school with. Alice is beyond flirtatious, actually downright seductive; so naturally Danny thinks he has a shot. When he asks Alice tells him he’s deranged for thinking she was ever attracted to him. With that knife in his gut, he has to find the ‘perfect girl’ for the picture. He goes to his overweight lover buddy Craig for help. Craig asks his girlfriend Abby to help out, and she calls in the sure thing supertramp Marcy to fit the bill. Danny is supposed to have a meet and greet with Marcy at a restaurant on evening, but Camille shows up with her family, and while talking to Camille outside, super hot Marcy comes and goes and he misses his chance with her too.

In the midst of all this Danny’s divorced parents are both frantically dating trying to find new mates. His mother searching for financial stability, with any potbellied guy that shows her attention. His father is desperately internet dating, dying his hair and lying about his age. Danny is merely a blip on both of their radars. Danny’s father is determined to be buddies with Danny, bestowing him with keys to his new bachelor pad ”just in case.” Danny finds this very awkward and a little creepy. As the clock to prom ticks on, Danny is still determined to have a ‘sure thing’ for prom. He has bamboozled his parents into renting him a room at the hotel where the prom is being held, and paying for the limo. He hears an erotic poem in English class one day written by a classmate and sees this as a green light to ask her out. She places so many restrictions on going with him that he decides to keep looking. Time runs out, and he figures he’ll surprise Camille after all and pick her up on prom night. He goes to his friend Craig to ask if they can stop by Camille’s on the way to prom to pick her up only to find that Craig’s girl Abbey is covered in sun blisters from tanning and can’t go; so Craig has asked Camille to prom in her place. Danny is livid, and panicked as it’s prom night and he has no date. Hilarity ensues when he enlists his father to help him at the last minute to get a date. You’ll have to watch to see if Danny finds his dream girl after all. A deadpan classic.

The Rage in Placid Lake

The Rage in Placid Lake is a comedy in the tradition of Charley Bartlett, Sebastian Cole and Igby, however there are a few clever twists. The first clever twist is the title of the film. Placid Lake isn’t a place, it’s our protagonist. He’s a slightly nerdy prep school grad that has been systematically bullied his entire school career by the same three idiots. The film starts with his hippy dippy parents dropping him off at first grade in a dress saying it was ‘challenging people’s ideas of gender roles.’ Poor Placid is scarred for life. When he cries to mom and dad about the beatings, they tell him to find the positive in it. That was the same day he would meet his best super genius crayon-eating gal pal, Jemma.


Fast forward to senior year and the beatings he’s gotten accustomed to from the head bully Bull and his faithful minions. One day Placid puts Bull on the spot in private pegging him as homosexual, Bull doesn’t protest; but uses his fists to cover the truth. Placid is a very thoughtful and devious type that plans his revenge very carefully. He enters a film contest and does a documentary about how great his school is, and shows it at a school assembly to many applause. Placid is set to show the film at graduation to all the parents as well and switches the film to show his tormentors extorting other students and selling drugs on campus; as well as his out of touch hippy parents sexual melt downs. Naturally this would earn him another beating. He is chased to the roof of the school and cornered. Just as the bullies are about to pummel him he decides to jump off the roof, shattering every bone in his body. He would be in a coma for months, only to recover and decide he wants to ‘be like everyone else.’


He lies his way into a prestigious Insurance firm and gets a salary job. His hippy parents are beside themselves with disdain at this, as ‘they raised him to be a free expressive spirit.’ To shut them up he pretends to quit and hang around coffee shops all day, only going into the shed out back to change back into his suit and tie and continue working. His best friend Jemma is even a little creeped out by his changes and holds him at arms length as well. Placid charms his way into a higher position at work; bypassing his co worker Anton, and starts a purely sexual liaison with the company hotness Jane; much to Anton’s chagrin and jealousy. Though Placid always longed for structure; as the pressures of being a ‘company man’ and the hollow sex with Jane take their toll he starts to reexamine his choices and the reasons behind them. The pressure becomes too much for his nemesis Anton, and Placid has to use his wits to cheat death. You’ll have to watch and see how Placid jumps out of the way of deaths gun barrel. Crazy, quirky and thoughtful.

World's Greatest Dad

World’s Greatest Dad is a jet black comedy in a similar tradition as Jawbreaker, Heathers and Chumscrubber, when tragedy becomes it’s own animal that cannot be tamed. Lance is a high school poetry teacher , single father and struggling writer. Lance’s son Kyle is a nightmare walking to say the least. Foul mouthed to everyone he comes in contact with and an obsessive masturbator that prefers auto erotic asphyxia as his position of choice. In the films opening Lance walks in on Kyle strangling himself and thinks the worst only to be cursed out by his son for interrupting his orgasm. Kyle goes to the school where Lance teaches and is a problem child, who is constantly on academic probation and causing problems in the halls. This kid is so vile, that when the jocks beat on him, you actually cheer for the jocks! Kyle’s only friend is a drippy nerd named Andrew, whom has problems of his own at home, so he gladly tolerates Kyle’s abuse so he doesn’t have to go home and deal with his own problems.


Lance is having a secret affair with the art teacher Claire, who is a sun shiny, cute perky ray of sunshine that is crazy about him. Claire is supportive and funny, and what Lance looks forward to. One day in the teacher’s lounge a fellow teacher and handsome African- American man Mike reveals that he has had an article published in the New Yorker magazine. Lance is quietly jealous of this achievement, and even more bothered that it’s Mike’s first submission to the magazine. Claire is gushing over Mike’s achievement much to the dismay of Lance. Claire starts a friendship with Mike that makes Lance uneasy; but trying to be the ‘good secret boyfriend’ doesn’t make waves about it, and tries to trust her, even though every time he turns around she is breaking dates with him. One night they plan to go out and bring his son Kyle to dinner with them. After dinner he drops his son at home, and then drops Claire at her house. When he returns home Kyle has accidently strangled himself while masturbating. Lance panics and covers his son’s embarrassing death by faking a suicide note and hanging him in the closet. This is when things turn strange.

Naturally , there is sympathy from his coworkers and the students because of his son’s death. However what Lance hadn’t planned on was the suicide letter to be released by the police and printed in the school paper. The note made Kyle into something he absolutely wasn’t; a thoughtful, deep, intellectual. The school becomes enchanted by this person they never new. Maybe even a little obsessed. Lance is seduced by the attention he is getting and invents a ‘journal’ supposedly written by his son, which eventually is printed and distributed to the student body as a cautionary tale and comfort. Everyone has this idealized version of Kyle that they carry with them, and Lance is elevated to nearly sainthood. The lie of Kyle spins out of control, and the more Lance lies, the more he benefits. You will have to watch and see if he breaks or takes the accolades and runs. Great story telling. Twisted brilliance.

Good Dick

I heard about the film Good Dick way back when it came out, and one of the stars was saying the title is what it’s about. Eh, not. But wait…there’s more. See when you are on the circuit trying to get people to go see the movie, of course you are going to say that, with no regard to people feeling duped when they find out there is no sex in the film. Our lead characters are nameless. The woman, shut in semi weirdo Nastassja Kinski, Kristen Stewart mash up, who only ventures out to the local video store to get porn. The dude, the clerk and homeless stalker freak a Josh Harnett, Freddy Rodriguez collabo who somehow becomes obsessed with homegirl for absolutely no reason whatsoever. She looks like death warmed over most of the time, and is light years from friendly. He sees her one day, and writes down her address. He stalks her, peeping into her windows; seeing her watching porn and polishing the bean. He fakes a relative in the building to give excuses why he’s hanging around the halls. Eventually he pulls out his best Ted Bundy moves; faking the death of his aunt who lives in the building, leading him to scratch desperately at her door for comfort. She opens the door with a butcher knife and allows him to come in. He almost immediately starts cleaning her apartment. He starts showing up every night, whining about something or other, and she lets him in. She is irritable, and unfriendly yet somehow intrigued by his obsessive need to be with her. She allows him to sleep on the couch and will not permit him to touch her in any way. They watch porn together, however she has a rule if he gets aroused he’s 86’d. Needless to say he spends nights in his car when he gets aroused.

Most of the film you spend wondering what the hell her deal is. Dude sleeps in his car because his building was torn down and he just never bothered to get another apartment. This fact alone is telling of the type of person that he is. After a few weeks of crashing on his objects sofa he crowns himself the boyfriend. She reminds him that she doesn’t like him and isn’t even attracted to him, he of course rejects what she says and continues to do what he wants. Eventually she has a violent emotional breakdown that finally ejects him from her life. Only then do we get a glimpse of what it is that has her hiding from the world. She attempts to gain control of her life again, shedding the things that have her chained to her unhappiness. Once the clouds part she goes looking for the clerk to tell him how she really feels. It’s a quirky, strange somewhat psycho love story that many can probably relate to on some level.

Betty Blowtorch

Betty Blowtorch and her Amazing True Life Adventures is about one of the most amazing all girl rock bands ever. It took a while to assemble them but once they came together it was nothing but blow your face off rock n roll thunder. In the beginning the band was called Butt Trumpet with a lead singer named Thom; a punk outfit that wrote clever ditties and toured the west coast. The lead singer Thom was a punk rock purist, so when managers wanted to charge more for tour shirts or charge for stickers that he wanted to give away free; he suddenly had issues with being in the band. The band was signed by EMI which he thought was an irony as they swore they would never sign another punk act after the whole Sex Pistols debacle. Thom would eventually be pushed out of the band and then Dan would replace him, only to leave in the middle of a song while the band was on tour.

The girls came to the conclusion that they could do this themselves and would then evolve into Betty Blowtorch. Bianca Butthole (Lead singer), Sharron Needles, Judy Molish and Blair n Bitch would become some of the most feared chicks in the LA rock scene. They were as bad ass as any of the guys who were tearing up the clubs then. Not to mention these chicks were hot, and very vocal about their love of the male member. Their buddy Vanilla Ice would drop by to sing a verse on their song size queen about the size and prowess of his member; and after the verse drop trau to prove he wasn’t fibbing. One of their most popular songs ‘Ugly’ is so clever, you have to just watch for the story telling bit in the middle of the song. Hilarious!

The girls are raw rock, scathing and hard, with a pyrotechnics show to rival that of Kiss. They have a lady fire handler that travels with them, and have been known to have girl on girl action on their sets whilst they rock out. Things start picking up for the ladies of the Torch, touring like crazy, and a hot buzz on VH1 and an album ‘Are you Man Enough’ burning up the underground. Bizarrely enough in the middle of the tour Bianca wakes up to find that Judy and Sharron have bailed, taking equipment, merchandise and a van! Bianca won’t give up and jumps on the phone to get replacements to finish the tour. Amazingly she finds some incredible musicians to keep the show tearing on through. One night in New Orleans after a show the band is winding down and planning to go back to the hotel. Bianca hops a ride with a friend and the rest of the band takes the van back to the hotel. Bianca never makes it to the hotel as the car she was riding in crashes on the highway and she is killed. Betty Blowtorch is snuffed out before they can take over the world. Watching the film you get to experience the band in all of it’s glory. Long live Betty Blowtorch!

Black White + Gray

Black white and gray is the story of Sam Wagstaff; a legendary New York socialite and art collector. The most high profile relationship both professionally and personally was the one he has with photographer Robert Mappelthorpe; a sexy young wonderkind 25 years his junior when they met. Everyone who has any interest in modern art knows who Mappelthorpe is, but maybe not how he got to the level of fame he achieved. That’s where Sam comes in. Though both Mappelthorpe and Wagstaff died of Aids, the story is told by their best friends and confidantes, and films of themselves. The poet/ musician Patti Smith was a close personal friend of the couple for many years as was author Dominc Dunne. Sam was from a prominent New York family and was an extremely handsome and charming socialite that was in the closet for many years. His background was in advertising as Warhol’s was in the 50’s but he hated it with every fiber of his being. He went on to be a curator, and then a very zealous collector of photography. When the 1960’s and Stonewall rolled around, Sam found himself and his own voice and began exploring every dark corner of gay life. In one of those dark corners is where he found Mappelthorpe. He’d be a respected Park Avenue curator during the day, and a Bowery crawling sex club leather boy at night. Seeing the process of how Sam created the downtown art scene with his tastes and collections was amazing. He hosted Truman Capote’s legendary Black and White Ball at one of his galleries. He helped break some of the biggest modern artists and sculptors of the day with his patronage. He’d also influence Mappelthorpe’s tastes in the sexually deviant as well with his collections.

Sam would eventually change his direction, and later in life begin collecting American Silver which at the end of his life would fetch nearly a million dollars at auction at Christie’s. He’d leave the bulk of his fortune to Mappelthorpe, which he’d action off in chunks as his own health began to fail and he could no longer work. Dunne tells a story of going to see Mappelthorpe when he was close to death, laying in the middle of his living room on a bed. Robert tells Dominic that he wants to take his picture. Dominic says ‘I was afraid he would die in the middle of snapping the picture; that was how close to death he was. You see my fear in that picture.’ It was a voyeuristic view into the inner workings of Wagstaff’s intimate relationship with Mappelthorpe and the power of celebrity. A definite must see of all hardcore photogs.

Me Without You

Me Without You is a fascinating lament about toxic female friendships. This story starts out with the main characters, Marina (played by Anna Friel) and Holly (played by Michelle Philips) as grade school BFFS in England in the mid seventies. They spend all of their time together and even dub themselves Harina; merging their names into one. As the years move along we see our girls as precocious teens, full of brooding and in love with punk. Marina is dubbed as the pretty, outgoing one who will always get whatever she wants either by charm or by her looks. Holly is the shy, bookish one who follows Marina’s lead in most situations; wishing she could be more like her. Marina has a cool older brother, Nat; that of course Holly is secretly in love with. Marina overhears about a party her brother will be attending and that members of the Clash are supposed to be at as well. The two girls dawn their best garbage bag outfits and spiked hair to crash this incredible party; that turns out only to be a bunch of her brother’s friends, doing drugs and playing records quite loudly. Desperate to seem cool, Marina tries heroin for the first time. While Marina is in her dream, Holly allows herself to be used by her love interest Nat for drunken sex. Marina stumbles upon the scene and becomes enraged at her friend. Nat does have a conscience afterall and gives Marina a note to pass to Holly about his feelings. Naturally Marina rips it up and never tells Holly, allowing her to believe she was used.

Skip forward to college, the girls are at the same school in the 80’s and still besties. Holly crushes her literature professor Daniel (played by Kyle McLaughlin) and tries to impress him with her intellectual prowess. He is impressed by her absolutely, however out of jealousy Marina seduces Daniel into bed with her behind her BFF’s back. Eventually Holly begins a secret affair with Daniel as well, and the rub is that neither girl knows the other is sleeping with the professor. As things would have it Marina’s older brother Nat shows up, distraught over a relationship with a narcissistic French actress that won’t love him back. Next we know Holly and Nat have picked up where they left off, and Nat is begging Holly to be with him. She explains that she is seeing someone, but Nat is her one true love so she will break it off with the professor. She goes to the professors house only to find Marina leaving his flat and passionately kissing him on the stairs. Holly is beside herself with heartbreak that her best friend would do this to her. So much so that she discards Nat’s love in the process; sending him sprinting back into the arms of the French actress. The years play on, and the two are constantly intertwined in one sick mind bending toxic relationship after the other; until Holly can’t take it anymore and decides to move to the states to start over. When Marina finds this out she goes into thermonuclear melt down mode and begins begging with all of her might not to be left behind. You’ll have to watch and see what happens to the two friends when one stands against the other finally. Blazing HOT soundtrack is worth it. Excellently written.

Poker House

Poker house is a semiautobiographical of the teenage years of director Lori ‘Tank Girl’ Petty’s life in Iowa before she sought out fame. Her character in the movie is named Agnes, a 14 year old basketball star who works two jobs and cares for her little sisters Bee and Cammie the best she can. Her mother Sarah played by Selma Blair is a drugged out alcoholic prostitute who is obsessed with her pimp Duval played by Bokeem Woodbine. Duval is a despicable man who runs trade, and holds poker games at Sarah’s house and hustles everyone of their money. Despite how hard working and what a good kid Agnes is, she somehow manages to fall madly in love with Duval herself behind her mothers back, or under her nose whichever you prefer. Agnes makes out with Duval whenever her mothers back is turned, telling herself that he is the real thing. Agnes and her next younger sister Bee, try to scrape together money the best they can so they don’t have to depend on their completely dysfunctional mother for every little thing. Agnes delivers newspapers and slings burgers, and Bee collects bottles to turn them in for money. Little Cammie gets dropped at the local diner everyday where the owner Dolly watches after her. The local fixture is Stymie played by David Allen Grier, who also co-wrote the story. He is a somewhat mentally out of touch old man that seems to help look after the little girl each day. Making sure she gets fed, watches the soaps and gets enough juice to drink. When Agnes finishes her school and work for the day she picks her up.


One day Agnes has a big basketball game to go to, and that day her mother is throwing a party at the house attended by low life’s and hookers. The party rages out of control and the cops are called. Once everyone is cleared out and Sarah is passed out somewhere, Agnes and Duval sneak away like they usually do but this time he means business. The inevitable takes place, and Agnes is traumatized. She bolts for the bathroom to wash off the blood from her attack and her mother stumbles in. Agnes is hysterical and crying reaching out for her mommy. Sarah is so blitzed that she doesn’t even notice anything is wrong and tells Agnes to go to the store for alcohol and Newports. Agnes wants revenge on Duval and threatens to shoot him with his own gun. Sarah is so in love with Duval that she tells her hysterical daughter that ‘I can’t live without him so shoot me instead.’ This sends Agnes over the edge but she doesn’t kill anyone. She simply steals Duval’s Brougham with the vanity plates and 8 track and drives herself to her basketball game in time to make the second half. She sets a record that night in scoring points and helps win the game. Despite everything she has to endure, she comes out intact and still able to care for her little sisters. The narration can get a little heavy, but overall a quality film. Well done.

Wrangler- Anatomy of an Icon

Wrangler anatomy of an Icon is nearly a literal phrase; as Wrangler is Jack Wrangler the world’s first extremely popular gay male porn star; and the anatomy is literally is man junk. At the dawning of the sexual revolution, and the gay liberation movement, Jack was the right man at the right time. Ironically our man Jack grew up in a very well to do Los Angeles publishing family and struggled to find his professional voice, as well as his sexual identity in his early twenties, when he fell into porn acting. He’d then change his last name to Wrangler, after the very manly denim jeans, and a star was born. Jack would star in the very popular gay men’s film ‘Kansas City Trucking Company’ and become a porn sensation. He was the quintessential gay male fantasy, with his blond hair, deep tan skin, and oiled muscles. Many weren’t aware that he was actually sort of a short shy man in person, who really struggled with his self image, and sense of attractiveness in real life. At the height of his popularity, he’d book dates at porn theaters to meet fans, and do monologues whilst stripping and giving the full Monty. Jack would become so popular that a penis pump would be named after him called the acu- Jack. This pump would be mentioned a decade or so later in one of Prince’s songs called ‘Sexuality’.

It didn’t take long for Jack’s family to get wind of his shenanigans. Jack worried what his very controlling and withholding father would say about him being in these films. Oddly enough his dad was sort of proud of him, go figure. Jack would have several long gay relationships, but as his popularity grew his relationships would rip in half.

What made Jack a legend was his then bridge into straight porn. The gay community felt betrayed, and duped as Jack’s success skyrocketed into the stratosphere. Jack would star as the devil in ‘The Devil in Miss Jones.’ Movie series. Porn would become chic in the mid 70’s and viewing porn would become the fashion of the time. His fame would allow him to hob knob among other celebrities, and receive star treatment wherever he went. One night while at an upscale club for dinner the 40’s pop singer Margaret Whiting would catch his eye, and they would begin dating though Jack was nearly 20 years her junior. Jack and Maggie would fall madly in love and eventually marry despite the protests of Maggie’s grown daughter. The natural snags would happen as when a straight woman marries a gay man. However, regardless of the nastiness their love endured. Jack would leave porn to teach music to kids, then write a musical for Broadway that would win him awards. Jack would die of cancer in April of 2009 leaving an amazing entertainment legacy.

Ghost Ride the Whip

What do you get when you combine ecstasy pills, cars rolling with no drivers, and rhyme and meter rap? The Bay area Hyphy Movement. Hyphy is a slang for hyperactive, which is how people act when jacked up on X at a rap show. Our hero is Mac Dre, a wild skinny dude who is a cross between T oo Short and Shock G of Digital Underground fame, who both are coincidentally from the Bay area as well. The story is well documented by DJ Vlad, and interviews are done with Mac Dre himself, E-40, Keak da Sneak, MC Hammer, Too Short and Mistah FAB. They chronicle the humble beginnings of the movement in the streets of Oakland, which started with makeshift block parties that evolved into drag races that concentrated on a form of drifting cars in major roadways and intersections, of course before being caught by the police. The heart of the movement depended on artists selling their own work out of car trunks and in anyplace that would let them, including the corner convenience store.

The movement gathered steam and took on a different energy in about 1994 with the introduction of Ecstasy pills. The act of being high on the pills is referred to as ‘thizzing’. Rappers began to rap about thizzing all up and through their songs. I often wondered what would happen if X made it into the ghetto; a place full of poverty, heartache, struggle and pain. The feelings given by X were profound to the oppressed people in the hood and the practice of using X as an escape became commonplace. What concerned me is seeing young kids middle school age singing along in the crowds dressed in the rave-like garb talking about thizzing. One of the rappers said that he discouraged kids from thizzing, however kids do what they see older people do. As the movement jiggled and jingled on; our hero Mac Dre’s popularity grows by leaps and bounds. His music is getting popular all over the land and people want to get Hyphy with him all over the country.

The street foolishness also evolves from drifting and burning tires into ghost riding. Ghost riding is when a driver allows his car to roll at a very slow speed, usually less than 10 miles per hour and then gets out of the car and climbs onto the hood and dances or pretends to surf. If there are other occupants in the car they do the same, so you can see a slow moving car with 5 or 6 people standing on various parts of it with the stereo blaring some hyphy music. It’s no doubt something that sounds good when one is thizzing. One rapper made reference that if you want to be really cool, you do it on a residential street without hitting anything. If you really want to impress a girl, you get out of the car and walk next to it while talking to her. I couldn’t imagine a guy putting me through that. Ghostride the Whip is one of those movies that will leave you with a dropped jaw for sure. Check it.

Born In Flames is categorized as a science fiction film. There is a sista on the cover, so I guess I expected something like ‘Brother From Another Planet’ to jump off. I wasnt sure what to expect. This film was directed by Lizzie Borden, and naturally thought ‘Wasn’t that the chick that had the ax and gave her mother 40 wacks?’ It was made in 1983, but feels more like the 70’s. I have a suspicion this film took years to complete. It’s a feminist manifesto, about women taking control of their lives, and their safety. Women form gangs that roam the streets to protect each other. In one scene a woman stops to ask two men in broad daylight in Time’s Square for directions, and the men begin to forcefully flirt with her. They become overly aggressive, pushing the woman to the ground and begin to rape her. A swarm of women in tank tops and jogging shorts all with whistles, whiz to the scene on ten speed bikes blowing their whistles and warning the men to let the woman go. The attack is thwarted. In another scene a woman in a business suit is reading on the train. A man slides up to her and tries to flirt with her. The woman makes it clear she isn’t interested and moves. The man moves with her and becomes more aggressive. There are protector women on the train that confront the man and tell him to leave her alone. The man insults the protectors calling them names. This goes on all over the city. There is a montage of women’s hands working, and women who are artists, and activists speaking out against the way women are ghettoized by men in society.


I suppose the science fiction comes in because supposedly there has been a peaceful revolution and society is now supposedly a socialist one, yet women are still catching hell all over and not given equal access to jobs. Women are systematically fired and barred from ‘non-traditional’ types of work, therefore they mobilize themselves to change this. A woman named Adelaide is at the center of all the stories, beating the pavement, and trying to talk women of all walks of life. Some women are resistant to the ideology that Adelaide is presenting to them. Adelaide tries to talk the most popular female DJ named Honey about her plight; to see if she could get her platform on the radio and to more women. Honey is reluctant to go out on a limb for Adelaide though they have the same beliefs. Out of frustration Adelaide courts radical groups, and flies to Northern Africa to learn about women who are soldiers in armies there. She is immediately flagged by the FBI and is detained when she returns to the states. The movement takes off once Adeliade is jailed, but takes a turn no one was ready for, and women act up in protest. Powerfully written and always relevant. A must see for all female activists.

Mixed Blood is an underground crime classic. A bit of Bloody Mama meets Cotton Goes to Harlem with a little Godfather nod here and there. It reeks of racism and exploitation on many levels. In the film a woman called La Puta, a Brazilian mob boss settles in Alphabet City and sets up a drug business using underage homeless boys called the Maseteros. She uses the boys as her army of dealers and killers. La Puta has a son Thiago that she never lets out of her sight and shares a bed with. Thiago is devastatingly handsome, but doesn’t speak English well, and his mother eludes that he could be mentally challenged. The irony is that it could be that the actual actor, Richard Ulacia did have some sort of developmental issues and they simply wrote it into the script. You hear him speak, and you think English could be his second language, and Portuguese his first; but there is a little something more about his performance that makes you wonder. Ulacia himself so beautiful, that you can’t imagine that he didn’t take over Hollywood especially in the shallow 80’s, so he seems quite mysterious.

The gang, though they make lots of money selling drugs, live in an abandoned tenement building in complete squalor, so they can keep their eyes on their business. The enemy of the Masetero’s are the Master Dancer gang; who is led by Juan the Bullet. A well coifed Puerto Rican that sounds like he was raised in New Jersey with the Shore Kids. No, the Dancers don’t break out dancing, which would only add to the cheesiness of whole 80’s gang movie theme. It’s almost a shame that they don’t. The Maseteros are supplied by a man only known as ‘The German’ who has an open disdain for the minions selling his poison on the streets of Alphabet City. The German has a beautiful girlfriend Carol, who is rich in her own right; and seems to tolerate the German out of boredom. When Carol begins tagging along into the ghettos, she becomes drawn to the life in the ruins, and most of all to the irresistibly gorgeous Thiago. Carol befriends La Puta and is invited to the Puta’s grandson’s christening party, where choreographed violence breaks out, that rivals that of the Godfather. Thiago, in his overly simple way falls for Carol and beds her much to La Puta’s overbearing chagrin. Carol naturally wants to be able to come and go as she is used to; and not be confined to the few blocks of Alphabet City. She talks Thiago into cleaning himself up and going to a swank Manhattan bar on a date. When he is gone violence erupts, and more of La Puta’s boys are killed. To add insult to injury when Thiago returns home after the mêlée, he announces that he’s taking Carol to Brazil on vacation without La Puta. His mother pretends to be happy about the relationship, but naturally she has other ideas about her beloved son’s fate. She will not be disobeyed, so she hatches a plan to get rid of Carol completely.

When boys of the gang are killed La Puta insists Thiago combs the streets to find replacements. When the pickings are slim one of the gang suggests that they start recruiting blacks. (the word used isn't as politically correct) La Puta says only if they are Latin, she doesn't want 'Mixed Bloods' in her gang. Meaning African Americans. Go figure.

This film was directed by Paul Morriesy, the guy responsible for all of Warhol’s oh so very artsy films. This film has grit, and bite, and a sick sense of humor. This film is also known as John Leguizamo’s first movie, though he was completely cut out of it. His name still appears on the end credits. I wonder if he gets a check? LOL!

The Gits - A Documentary

The Gits is a documentary about the now defunct Seattle band by the same name. The reason the Gits unfortunately became part of the national scene was because of the brutal rape and murder of their lead singer Mia Zapata in 1993. I lived in Seattle in the same neighborhood that the murder occurred in at the time, and knew a lot of the same people that she did, and went to many of the same clubs and bars. I remember vividly the fear that gripped the city after her murder. I used to walk home from clubs all the time back then; and her murder made me realize that there but for the grace of God went I. Eerily, her body was discovered only 4 blocks from where I lived at the time.

In this documentary, we get to explore Mia’s life, meet her family and friends, and see her perform on stage. We get to see her old haunts, the house on 19th Street where she lived with her band, and the clubs where she played. The most poignant thing is that we get to see her sing; and the posthumous beauty simply breaks your heart. Hearing the way people who enjoyed her music describe how her music felt to them, drives home the loss of her amazing voice; in all it’s bluesy glory. It’s madding how close the Gits were to a major tour and national exposure, mere days; when she unfortunately wandered into the wrong place at the wrong time. I clearly remember the posters of her on every telephone pole and street corner, begging for information leading to the capture of her killer. I remember the benefit concerts at the clubs in memoriam of her. I remember how angry women were in the musical community, driving them to band together to form a non profit safe rides group, that has now gone national, so no woman has to endure what Mia did.

What I didn’t know going into this film is that there was a break in this case a decade later. DNA testing has come a long way since 1993, so due to DNA found on Mia’s body in 1993, a match was made to an offender in Florida in 2003. It was a turn in the film I hadn’t expected, and was relieved and happy to see. I was on the edge of my seat as we trace the investigation and discover the identity of Mia’s killer. I squirmed when hearing the details of the case, and what Mia went through that night. I felt the relief, anger and pain of the friends, fans and family members in the Seattle courtroom when this scumbag was sentenced to life in prison. Justice was served!

The Seattle music community could now rejoice that Mia could finally rest in peace. Though her impact and life was in Seattle, she is originally from Kentucky and that is where she is buried. Her family welcomes her fans to pay their respects at her gravesite, and understand how much she was loved and touched others. The are proud of the legacy that she has left behind. Amazing journey for music fans.

The Babysitters

This was a humdinger of a film we'll say Jawbreaker meets Risky Business. Except this time the business is girl powered. Our heroine is Shirley, a tall sort of gawky stoic high school senior that runs a neighborhood babysitting service. It's clear in the first 10 minutes of the film that she's crushing big time on one of her clients, Mike played by John Leguizamo. He picks her up and drops her off, and begins taking 'the long way home' so to speak when his wife Gail played by Sex in the Cities Cynthia Nixon and he begin to drift apart.

Now that seems like a pretty cut and dried story in itself, and I pretty much went in thinking that would be the jest of it. What you don't plan on is Mike telling his oldest friend and co worker Jerry about the ongoing trysts he's been having; and then Jerry wants a similar arrangement for himself. Shirley drafts her mischievous best friend Barb for the job, and Shirley then gets 20% for setting up the deal. Shirley is determined to get money for college it seems by any means necessary. The two make $250 a pop and become quite in demand so then they have to expand their 'elite' services to some of their already practicing babysitters. They approach already incredibly insecure Jill about the extra clientele. Initially she is resistant, but gives in and begins to enjoy the money she is making. The girls become so busy that Jill recruits her younger sister Nadine when she's already booked to handle the overflow.

Nadine begins to question why she has to hand over 20% of her money if she does 100% of the work. Shirley explains it's because 'she sets up the appointments' and takes her cut. Next thing we know, Shirley's phone stops ringing. Nadine has gone rogue and stolen all Shirley's clientele and seems to have dropped the babysitting guise. Shirley is furious and sets out to keep her pimp hand strong. She tries to get hard evidence that Nadine is cutting her out; however when she cannot , she displays her power in such a way that the whole school feels it. The girls get the message and fall back into line.

The sexual escapades and husband's lying escalates. Mike begins to become possessive over Shirley who he has discovered is his only solace in his very structured and responsibility laden life. He entertains the idea of running away with her leaving his wife and kids to fend for themselves. Shirley becomes more and more distant, and emotionally shuts down as she begins to feel the effects of what it is she is doing. In the meantime despite the warnings she was given Nadine is determined to do things her way, sending Shirley off the deep end. The emotions of this film hit a fever pitch, however you don't see the surprise twist coming. Definitely expertly written, with some intense social commentary about people's need to have secret lives.

Disfigured

This film starts out as if it may be a farce about a thin woman wandering into a fat acceptance group because she 'identifies' with the people in the group then is chased out and pummeled about the head and neck by anything that isn't nailed down. Not so. The films focus starts on Lydia an overweight woman who is struggling to connect with other people dispite how she's been treated. Lydia thinking it would help everyone be more social and focus less on emotionally unloading, decided to start a fat acceptance walking group on the beach. The other members of the group take offense to this and all but kick her out of the group. Darcy is a thin woman who comes into the group the day Lydia poses this suggestion and thinks it's pretty cool and shows up at the beach to support Lydia. She offers to advertise the group for her to get more people involved and it works, and people from all over the community show up to walk and socialize. Lydia ends up meeting a man in the group, who is also overweight and she becomes physically involved with him. Cut buddies as the kids call it these days. Her buddy announces one afternoon after the festivities that he is planning on weight reduction surgery. Lydia thinks it's lame and tells her buddy so. This sends her into an emotional downward sprial which lands her on Darcy's door step. What we discover about Darcy is that she isn't just thin, she's anorexic. In her desperate state Lydia asks Darcy for 'anorexia lessons' and Darcy reluctantly obliges her helping her clear out all the fattening foods from her cupboards and fridge and making a pact that if she feels herself wanting to emotionally eat, that she will call Darcy for support. This movie explores those darker areas within that we don't want to admit exist, and our desperate need for acceptance and the lengths we will go to get it. Hard Core.

Reviews April 5

This was one of the most disturbing and difficult movies I have seen in a while. In the tradition of Smithereens and all those other homeless new york punk rock wanna be chick movies, imagine if she never ever got her crap together and was still doing the same thing at 40? Antimatter the man character is a homeless drug abuser who wants to be famous, she's in a band who really barely tolerates her, but she writes great lyrics so they keep her. She's promiscuous and out of it, and going nowhere fast regardless of her ability to write entertaining punk songs. The guys whisper 'If she was 19 and hot maybe we'd get somewhere, but we kick her out of the band she will literally die. This band is her life' Toward the end of the film she drops nuggets of semi wisdom, and seems to have a bizarre clairity onher situation even though she is completely losing it. If you want to feel sick and like you've been kicked in the stomach, see this one.